I am not sure about anyone else, but the holidays used to be a horrid downer for me, specifically Thanksgiving. The year I was diagnosed (2002) with HIV, I was pretty much estranged (disowned) from my family and I have not spent one holiday with them since. That’s nine years of missing my Grandma’s stuffing recipe, homemade pumpkin pies, a massive turkey special ordered from the old-time butcher down the street and time spent with my entire family.
Quite honestly, it’s depressing; I could say I am okay inside, but I am not. It hurts. I know I am not alone just by talking to a friend this morning who I know is going to spend this holiday alone. I am saddened by this. No one should be alone on this holiday. It took me a long time to tell people that I would be alone on this holiday. It was painful to see others with their families because inside I am missing the ‘family-bond’ love I know I will never experience again.
It took years to heal this pain. It wasn’t until very recent that I began to embrace all the new love that was coming into my life; realizing that the love being shown to me was not out of pity (as my HIV mental anguish would have me thinking), it was (and still is) pure love; acceptance that my friends really do love me . . . for me.
Today, I am very grateful that I have a new-found family of amazing friends who have graciously extended their warm hearts and invited me to into their homes to be part of Thanksgiving dinner. Ok seriously, there were an overwhelming number of invites by friends . . . and the gratitude I feel for such love cannot be expressed with simple words. . . but these simple words I am about to say, I say with the most sincere love that my heart can express. . . THANK YOU FRIENDS FOR YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
If you know of someone who might be alone or not sure if he/ she will be alone tomorrow, please reach out and give a little of yourself . . . everyone deserves to be loved. It took me a long time to realize I was worth my life living with HIV.
Today I am thankful for each breath I take when I wake in the morning. I am thankful that I have discovered the strength within my soul to live a life free of HIV mental anguish; I am thankful for the medications I take every day - helping me to enjoy a long, prosperous life while giving me a second chance to fulfill my dreams; I am thankful for all of my friends who listen to me (especially when I am soooo self absorbed! Ha!); I am thankful for those friends that are there no matter what; I am thankful for the courage to share my story; I am thankful for the talents of magic and escape which I am continuing to pursue; I am thankful for everything and anything simple in my life today; I am thankful for the struggles which make me stronger; I am thankful for the opportunity to fight ignorance and heal the world’s perception of those living with HIV / AIDS.
Thank you followers and friends for standing by me all this time. We have a lot of life to live and I looking forward to living it with all of you!
Happy Thanksgiving - Love, hugs and life!
I am Daniel and I am living pozitively. Thank you for following my blog!